i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
