They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
