ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
