what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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