OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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