What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
