Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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