Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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