Where is the hickey?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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