i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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