Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
