If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
