i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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