I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
