Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
