from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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