The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
