finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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