when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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