i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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