You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
