my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
