How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
