OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
