Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
