can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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