did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
