The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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