fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
