Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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