well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
