If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
