Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
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