I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
