is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
