I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
