her vagina looked like bernie madoff
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
