You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
