hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
