Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
