The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
