To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
