I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
