I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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