So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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