She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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