i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
