Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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