There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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