Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
