ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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